Bouldered 1hr at gym, listened to Erik B and Rakim on my ipod, which made it slightly more bearable. Walked to Tumalo falls and worked at 4p. I’m compiling a list of climbing music, but so far Erik B is as far as I’ve gotten. I’ll probably add some Sublime, some Rage, and start looking for some suggestions. The collection begins. No pull-ups on the RR today.
An activity log, a food log – input and output records, something to look back on to track my progress. Is there a website you can link to for this? I’ll have to look into it. Right now I keep track on my timeslip at work. Not a long-term solution. As for other things on my mind…
Climbing climbing climbing – like the message in the Matrix, this word repeats unbidden in my thoughts, a flash into my psyche before it’s crowded out by daily operations. It always reappears, sometimes in print form (times new roman) and more often as a primal beat, a blinking neon sign, short lived and forceful, leaving a puzzling aftertaste that hints at something – could it be a greater something? It is open to my interpretation.
Climbing climbing climbing comes and goes, popping through my thoughts like a whale breaching, presenting itself plainly, a moment of clarity, then disappearing, allowing the sea of my everyday thoughts to replace it. The word comes always in threes, sometimes with urgency, never with an accompanying thought or memory or reason behind it. Why is this here, what does it mean, what am I supposed to do with it? I know I’m obsessed and I welcome the singleminded focus I haven’t had the luxury of experiencing since high school. I’m willing to go with it, hell, I want this, I want this to take over my life and my thoughts – who knows when I’ll have the motivation or the opportunity again? There are so many other things out there vying for time and attention, it’s so easy to get caught up in the life grind until your life is fresh ground every day – all in bits and pieces, where does it all go? Not so easy to track. With a focus, you can track it, watch the progression, not spread yourself too thin.
Does anyone else here see the resemblance to peanut butter? Me, I want a chunky lifestyle with just enough butter to hold it all together. Time to pay the bills, go to work, and the majority left for fun. In my case, climbing. So many people are happy with a creamy existence where everything rolls right off the knife, no resistance, no crunch. Before you know it, the whole jar is gone and you can’t even remember where you spread it.
3 comments:
Single-mindedness is all very well in cows or baboons; in an animal claiming to belong to the same species as Shakespeare it is simply disgraceful. Aldous Huxley :)
I don't know, but I think that there is a difference between commitment to an art, and obsession with a goal. "Expectations" can only be met by force. ...and results obtained through force, as from a crash diet, don't stick long to the roof of your mouth! :o)
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Bend down, and there it is.
Don’t go struggling, looking elsewhere.
Just move along: everything’s on the WAY
The hand that touches it brings forth the Spring.
The way you come upon flowers in bloom,
The way you see the year renewing itself:
What comes this way, stays.
What’s gotten by force, drains away.
A solitary human, an empty mountain
Rain is falling: Pick some duckweed,
Freely feeling the flash of dawn,
At your leisure, with the Celestial Balance.
so I'm working my way through feb.
Its really interesting to see how much you've changed . I'm not sure if its because you've talked about these things but I can see,or hear, how you don't like climbing that much , and how you enjoy writing as an art form , but it seems the most interesting things to read are written by nerotic people who think to much and make every thing into a joke. Maybe thats why you are losing an interest in writing. Maybe you think your writting is becoming boring or that you no longer want to have a mind that thinks in this super fast paced sarcastic frantic sort of way and thats the writing style that is interesting. I don't know really just a thought . you don't have to post this , I'm not sure this is stuff you wanted to share. Love you
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