People Connections

Looking over my photos from the Grand Canyon trip, I found myself really hoping that I’d gotten photos of Harpo, one of our rafting guides. It’s not that he’s an amazing hottie whose body I want to share with the whole world; rather, he’s an amazing human being I feel fortunate to meet, and in the absence of adequate words to describe him, I feel a photograph at least explains a little – the physical aspect at least, so I can try to focus on the rest of his amazingness.

Who is he? Harpo’s a happy guy. In the moment with whatever he’s doing, he’s honest and completely open (sometimes a little too much so) about himself, what he’s feeling, what he’s doing and why. He also has a bead on everyone else around; he sees into people and into why they act the way they do. For example, a guy on our trip constantly pushed his friends to go harder, to be the best. Harpo saw that this guy had never been the best at anything, that he didn’t know that when you are the best, you don’t care about being there, you love doing what you’re doing and you happen to be the best at it. I asked Harpo how you get someone like this to stop pushing. Harpo explained he would validate this man’s accomplishments by telling him he’s a success, so that he doesn’t have to continue trying to be the best.

Later, Harpo called over to him and said, “Hey, nice job. You kayaked entire Grand Canyon – you accomplished exactly what you set out to do!” And then my brother stepped in and said, “Except for the four miles you missed when you hiked to Thunder River.” And this guy’s face fell.

Harpo said to Tris, “Why you gotta do that? Why can’t you let him have his victory?”

And Tris said, “Someone’s got to keep him off his high horse.”

I can identify with both respects. On one hand, I really respect Harpo for recognizing this need and for acting on it to help make this person more whole. On the other, I feel like Tris, that this man is kind of an ass who makes people feel inadequate in their efforts because he’s always pushing for more.

However, never allowing a moment of victory…speaks volumes of how Tris thinks of himself. Always bringing you down to his level. Hearing compliments from Tris happens rarely if ever. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him he’s great, he doesn’t believe that he’s interesting, and that’s why it’s like pulling teeth when you try to talk to him. He doesn’t volunteer information about himself for fear of boring you without realizing that it’s hard to be the one who always thinks of questions and leads the conversation. He hasn’t yet equated the way it’s easy to talk to a person who’s open, like Harpo for example, who spits out whatever’s on his mind or share the letter he got at Phantom Ranch, with the way he keeps himself closed down until someone asks the right question.

I don’t know. I’m not my brother. These are my conjectures.

What I am grateful for is the opportunity to experience so many people in such an intense and intimate place. Welcome to rafting in the Grand Canyon.

PS - I will be out again until Sept. 30th at a Vipassana meditation retreat.