Portable Hugs

Did you know that hugs are portable?

A hat in the mail is proof. The very greenness and design make it foreign and familiar. The touch of Shannon.

It's almost like having your best friend in the room next to you, especially when the sun hits. That's why I'm smiling. I also talked to Stealth's new owners. She's going to be all right.

I decided to give Stealth to a better home. Specifically, a family with kids and a fenced yard, a 12-year old boy who would love her, train her, walk her, and a stay-at-home mom to be with her all the time. Let’s face it, I lucked out. I posted an ad on Craig’s List and got a reply from an extremely excited family that night. It felt fated. I wasn’t expecting action to happen that quickly and I’m still shocked. I don’t want to talk about it.

I went climbing the next day with Esther, and dreaded having to tell her about Stealth. It felt like I failed Stealth, like I couldn’t be good enough for her, do enough for her. I also came to the conclusion that I didn’t want a dog, I didn’t love having a devoted furry black thing follow me around bodily or with her eyes, and I didn’t give her enough love. Esther was sad too, but understood. It felt good to be comforted.

The whole time we climbed, Esther and I were commenting on what it’s like not to have Stealth around. Lonely and weird and…

I’m me again. My attention is no longer divided, half on Stealth and what she might do, and the rest on my task. I am whole and strong.

Stealth is gone but irreplaceable in my heart and in the part of my life she’s affected. She was a key to my survival and search for happiness, and now she’s going to be that for someone else.